Mismatch

It's been months since I've written here. What's been happening? babywise - until about two weeks ago - not much. We've been getting those monthly updates with the names of the birthmothers who've seen our profiles - and that's it. And now they're out of our 35 profiles.

Then - on a Friday afternoon, Eric and I were talking on the phone. My other line rang - a blocked call. Then Eric's. Then our home phone. Eric was working from home, and I was out. Answer the phone!! I said. I heard his voice get excited as he says, "That's wonderful! We need to call you together." and then we got cut off. I listened to my voicemail and heard a message from a caseworker who said a birthmother was interested in us. Eric called me back, and we called the case worker together.

So we called back - and she told us about Jeannie, a 32 year-old in Virginia giving birth to her tenth child. She's not parenting any of them. The last one was given up for adoption, but the four before that are with relatives. The status of the others is unknown. She smokes marijuana daily, and has had no prenatal care because the Medicaid paperwork would take too long to fill out. She is desperate to come to California for the birth of the baby.

It didn't take long for us to decide that this was not our baby. It never felt like it. Everyone says you get a feeling. This wasn't it. What made this really personal, though, was seeing Jeannie's picture and reading the forms she'd filled out in her handwriting. I thought - she's the one who needs to be adopted. This was once a sweet girl from the South who just wanted to be loved. She loves singing and science and math. Why has she had ten children with ten different fathers? She needs someone to take care of her. Who's going to adopt her?

I guess she could have been lying on those forms - but she did write down that she smokes a joint a day - so why lie about the rest of it?

She and her baby are on my prayer list. Please add them to yours - along with her other nine kids.